Your Therapist is Human, Too

Spoiler alert: Your therapist does not have it all together.

Life is something we all get to be a part of, for better or for worse. You are probably very familiar with the highs and lows that get tossed your way and, though your therapist may be amazing, they are not immune to life’s lightning strikes.

Therapists are humans, too.

We get frustrated, sad, depressed, and irritated. Oftentimes, we have our own mental health diagnoses we’re managing. We wear the same shirt twice in a row, swear in traffic, and get overwhelmed to the point of shutting down or blowing up. As therapists, we are in a unique position in that we often know the “right thing” to do when we feel the flutter of various emotions: take deep breaths, go for a walk, communicate our needs, ask for help, etc., but even though we know them and teach them, they can still be tough for us to do sometimes. The humanity of your therapist, and you, is always present in the therapy room and with that in mind, here are some thoughts from one human to another:

We Mess it Up Sometimes

Therapists don’t always hit the mark or say the “right” thing. In fact, we might actually say something that doesn’t land well and we will try our best to acknowledge the discomfort around this and take action to apologize, repair, and do something different in the future. Therapists understand that humans are complex beings with several layers - and we are beyond honored when our clients give us permission to enter into these layers. That’s why it is so important to us that we hold all of this with care and intention. And even though we try to do this as best as we can, there may be times when we misspeak or misunderstand. When that happens, know we are invested in tending to that fissure and the quality of care we provide in order to maintain a healthy therapeutic relationship and support you to the best of our ability despite our fallible nature.

We Get Tired

Therapists also have things that keep us up at night: existential dread, OCD spirals, kiddos crying, dogs barking, anxious thoughts about the days to come. We get tired in all senses of the word. Sometimes we need a few more cups of coffee to get through the day or a boost from a silly social media reel (#chonkycatvideos). Other times we need to wrap up in a cozy cardigan before a session and regroup. We know our limits, and yet, sometimes the work that we do can feel like a lot. It can take its toll and make a nest in our brains and hearts that weighs on us over time. We take care of ourselves and practice self-care because it is a necessary aspect of doing this work. And our hope is that our ability to take care of ourselves well is reflected in the ways we show up in the therapy room and also reinforces the idea that caring for yourself applies to everyone.

We Have Our Own Therapists

Oh boy, do we ever! Therapists carry a lot within. We are aware that we chose this profession on purpose. We love it. And at the same time, we will be the first to acknowledge that we hold space for many, many things. We are healers, we are listeners, we are present for our clients. And we do all this while experiencing all that our own lives are bringing to us (or throwing at us!). As mentioned earlier, we are navigating all kinds of things in our own lives. Many of us are walking through our own storms in life, feeling the heaviness of loss, the frustration of poor communication, the disorientation that comes from life’s curveballs, processing various forms of trauma. We often have our own mental health diagnoses or concerns that we seek support with. We are working on our own treatment goals and celebrating the successes we see in our personal therapy journeys. And engaging in our own healing and growing process allows us to show up even better when we step into yours.

We Have Unique Personalities

Therapists are not robots with a mental catalogue of sayings to pull out at the “right” time. We have diverse personalities that appear in the way we build relationships, respond to clients, decorate our offices, and dress. Our personalities show up in our therapy styles, too! During some moments we may furrow our brows and ask clarifying questions. Other times we may react along with you to something you share. We laugh in session alongside you just like we emotionally connect when something powerful is shared. We do more than shake our heads and nod. We respond like human beings with real emotions (within reason of course - we still want to be professional!). Therapists also have hobbies and interests outside of the office that make us laugh, feed our souls, and keep us connected. We like meeting friends, goofing around, playing with our kids at the park, fixing cars, watching bad reality TV, and sleeping in. Therapists are not a monolith. We don’t all fit into the same box, just like we know our clients don’t all fit in the same box.

Therapists are, in plenty of ways, figuring things out, too. We are navigating a whole host of things in our personal lives and yet care so much about holding space for the various circumstances in yours. And we deeply love this. We want to be doing this. We want to support you, encourage you, challenge you, and watch you grow. We always try our best, and yet, because we are human, we fall short of perfection, too. Thank you for choosing to invite us in anyway, for letting us be a part of your healing journey despite the imperfections we bring along the way. It is precisely the fact that we are human, too, that deepens our relationships with clients. It is because we are human that the therapy room is not just a sterile cage for you to be monitored in, but a sacred space that enables real human connection on a soul level. And this connection is a gift we will always hold dear.