Understanding Religious Trauma
What is Religious Trauma?
Simply put, religious trauma is the emotional, physical, and psychological distress from harmful or adverse experiences with religion or religious communities and environments. This form of trauma is often complex and multi-dimensional, impacting an individual’s emotional, physical, spiritual, social, and sexual wellbeing.
Religious trauma may be the result of a specific incident or experience, though often it can be the result of consistent exposure to and involvement in religious belief systems that reflect messages that create fear, anguish, helplessness, dependency on the group, powerlessness, and shame.
It is important to note that not all difficult experiences in religious community result in trauma. It might be better described as “spiritual abuse” or an “adverse religious experience.” This does not take away from the pain or hurt that occurred.
Spiritual abuse is when religious texts, beliefs, and/or practices are misused in order to control, manipulate, or coerce individuals. Spiritual abuse might result in religious trauma, but it might not - and religious trauma does not necessarily mean spiritual abuse occurred.
Religious trauma focuses more on the internal impact from that abuse or those adverse religious experiences. While religious trauma looks different for everyone, common symptoms of religious trauma include:
hyper-vigilance
black and white thinking
perfectionism
self-distrust
religious scrupulosity (aka “Religious OCD”)anxiety about the afterlife
faith disillusionment
dissociation
loss of meaning or moral framework
guilt and shame
fear of doubt and questioning
trouble identifying needs
overreliance on authority and rules
grief
moral injuryYou might be wondering…
What counts as an “adverse or difficult experience” with religion?
No two experiences are the same. What is distressing for one person might not be for another. Just as in other forms of trauma, it is unique to each person. Each person will likely have their own set of experiences that has contributed to their religious trauma, but common examples might include:
being expected or asked to prioritize the group’s needs over your/your family’s own needs
shaming you for interests outside of what the religious community deems appropriate
regulating who you can and cannot spend time with
being asked personal details about your sexuality (including if you are engaging in sexual activities with others or yourself)
constant check-ins about the status of your beliefs
physical, verbal, or emotional abuse under the guise of “spiritual discipline” or “speaking truth into your life”
sexual abuse, sexual assault, and/or sexual harassment in religious contexts and/or by members of the religious community
improper use of power dynamics in hierarchical religions
expectations to adhere to strictly defined gender roles
being shamed or seen as “problematic” for asking questions, raising concerns, or having doubts
unhealthy expectations around financial investment in the religious community or community’s goals
Does this mean all religious groups cause harm?
The nutshell version is no. Many people have incredibly meaningful experiences and communities in the context of religion. Religion can be a source of great peace, connection, direction, and hope. It can provide people with a framework in which to move through the world and that can be a very beautiful thing! There are so many religious communities out there that seek to encourage, explore, serve, and offer access to resources.
Unfortunately, there can also be a harmful side to religion that can negatively impact people as well.
What if I still want to be spiritual or religious even though I’ve experienced this form of trauma? What if I don’t?
What if I’m not sure what I want?
This is so normal! Everyone has a different journey in their healing from religious trauma. Some people may choose to step back from religion altogether, while others may want to find a different kind of religious community. One person may consider themselves more “spiritual” now, while another might describe themselves as “unknown.” Wherever you are, that is okay. You are allowed to grow, change, change your mind, explore, change your mind again, and pause. Therapy is a great place to navigate your thoughts and emotions in your process of figuring out what “next steps” means to you.
How can therapy help?
A person's religion is often the lens in which they view the world with. It impacts all of life's layers, so with that in mind, therapy for religious trauma will also look at all these layers in order to help you understand your emotions, thought patterns, core beliefs, relationships, and more.
Because of the self-denying nature that can exist in religious environments, it can be difficult for individuals to recognize their own needs, much less ask for those needs to be met, even after they have left religion or a specific religious group. In addition, individuals with religious trauma might feel disconnected from their bodies, socially anxious, or wondering how to make meaning in their life after religious trauma. Therapy for religious trauma is focused on you and your unique story. It is a safe place to bring all of you - your questions, your tears, your anger, your vision for the future.
In therapy, we work to build up your sense of self-trust - how you can learn to trust yourself, your body, and your decisions. We work to make your body feel like home again, not the enemy. We strengthen your ability to ask for help, set boundaries, and recognize where unhealthy patterns from the past might be creeping in. We also encourage you to challenge yourself in ways that help you reach your goals and promote your own agency and decision-making! This may look like defining your own sexual ethics, exploring if and how you want religion/spirituality in your life again, or processing grief from losing the life you once had.
Another way therapy can help is by creating a space for you to have a healthier experience when it comes to wading through the muddy waters of doubt, uncertainty, anger, and authentic emotional expression! Therapy intentionally focuses on all aspects of your experience, including the spiritual layers. You can express yourself openly in a non-judgmental space. If you’ve been holding onto religious trauma, please know you don’t have to hold it alone any longer.
The bottom line is this: Your pain matters. Your experiences don’t have to keep you living in fear. It is possible to heal from religious trauma. May this be your invitation to enter into this process for your own heart’s sake and help you trek forward in your healing journey.
Want to learn more?Join us on July 24th
What is Religious Trauma?:
A Therapeutic Introduction
Are you interested in learning more about religious trauma? Come spend time learning and connecting at our free event!
Led by MTC therapist Sarah Strauss, the evening will focus on a brief overview of what religious trauma is, how it might show up for people, and how to begin seeking support. This event is open to all, whether or not you identify as religious/spiritual or have experienced trauma in the context of religion.
Light refreshments will be provided!
Event Info:
Date: July 21st
Time: 6:30pm-8:30pm
Place: The Landing at Modern Thrive Counseling
5202 Eastpark Blvd. #112
Madison, WI 53718
Cost: Free!
And join us Look Forward & Wrap Up
Bearing Witness: A Religious Trauma Support Group
This six-week, in-person support group offers a space for individuals 18+ to process religious trauma and/or difficult experiences with religion. Each week will have a specific focus in order to curate intentional discussion. Topics include understanding religious trauma, spiritual bypassing, shame, grief, identity reconstruction, and more. Please note that this group is designed to honor a variety of experiences and identities. Space is limited to 6 group members due to the delicate nature of content.
Info for Group:
Tuesdays
September 1st-October 6th
6:00pm-7:30pm
The Landing at Modern Thrive Counseling
5202 Eastpark Blvd. #112
Madison, WI 53718
$60 per session