Four Ways to Embrace Uncertainty and Challenge Fear
What if I fail?
What if I’m not strong enough?
What if I’m not ready for this?
We all get slammed with a case of the “what-ifs” sometimes. Uncertainty creeps into our lives from all angles and can leave us frozen, hopeless, or even apathetic. How often do we hold ourselves back or get in our own way because we don’t know how things will play out? Fear of the unknown is sneaky. Uncertainty is not always ideal. In fact, we usually don't like it, but holding space for the unknowns and approaching them with curiosity can pave the way for something powerful to happen. Follow along and explore four ways to embrace uncertainty and challenge fear!
Uncertainty Does Not Equal Danger
Take a breath in and out with this one. Uncertainty does not equal danger. It may feel incredibly uncomfortable. We love predictability! We love to be in control and know what is going to happen next. Oftentimes, this comes from a place of self-protection and preservation. We have learned that having a plan can offer peace of mind, but life doesn’t always fit into the boxes we want it to. Curveballs are part of the journey! Uncertainty pushes us to think outside of the box, to get creative, and to live past our comfort zones. It is often when we are confronted with our fears of the unknown that we learn something about ourselves. It can be the beginning of transformation. Rather than jumping to the question of “What’s the worst that could happen?” try asking yourself: “What is the best thing that could happen?”. How might your life be different if you saw uncertainty as an opportunity instead of a threat?
Acknowledge What is in Your Control and What is Not
Life is a swirling mess of actualized plans mixed into “would’ve, could’ve, should’ves”. While, of course, it is much easier said than done, releasing anxiety about the unknowns can actually help us embrace what may (or may not be) coming our way. The more we try to white-knuckle the things in our lives out of fear, the more we reinforce our habits that lead to further anxiety. Maybe you, like a lot of us, have learned the hard way that you never really had control of some things - instead you just had panic, dread, and worry. Focusing on what you can control can lead to relief and, undoubtedly, sprinkles of joy! When we are locked-in to what we can control, our fear is not in the driver’s seat - we are. Think about what’s in your control right now. Your word choice. What you wear. How you respond. Whether or not you ask for help. Acknowledge what is in front of you right now rather than all the things out of your circle of control.
Give Yourself Permission to be Curious
Fear keeps us stuck. Maybe you know that first-hand. Fear keeps us trapped in the rigid expectations we hold that tell us things have to be “perfect” or “digestible” in order for us to successfully move forward with a task, a goal, a dream. Step outside of the limitations you set for yourself and challenge yourself to be open, curious about the possibilities. When we intentionally practice approaching situations with curiosity, we support ourselves in staying flexible and non-judgmental. Push your boundaries and ask different questions than you normally would. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” ask “What am I learning about myself from this?” or “How does this affect how I want to move forward?”
Make Fear Your Friend, not Your Foe
Admittedly, fear gets a bad reputation. Most of us don’t like the feeling of fear unless it’s something we chose for ourselves (thrill-seekers unite!). But fear serves a purpose. When our nervous systems are in check, fear tells us that something is wrong, that we need to get to safety. Our bodies react to fear in ways that are biologically designed to protect us. However, the realities of trauma, anxiety, and oppression can impact how we respond. Reactions to fear can be understood and changed - this is a great subject to work on in therapy! In the case of uncertainty, remember that fear is not your enemy, it’s merely a messenger. It’s telling us something, it’s asking us to pay attention. Test your limits next time you want to push your fears down and lock them away for life. Instead, acknowledge that you are feeling fear. Name it! This gives you power over the fear and strengthens your ability to identify when you feel it. Get familiar with what raises up fear in you and how you react. Speak to the fear. Say “Hey, I know you’re there. But right now I’m going to focus on something else.”
“Do it scared.” We have all heard the phrase. But what would happen if we actually lived it? If we didn’t wait to have it all figured out before making our next move? Fear does not have to be entirely gone for you to move forward. Beautiful, meaningful moments exist at the same time as fear. Showing up and trying again despite the fear is the goal. You can do hard things. You have done them before and you will do them again. Let this be evidence that you are strong, capable, and brave and that even in the unknowns, you can take the next step.